We're Caught in between Thank You and Goodbye
by sparky-poo
Summary: What you want isn't necessarily what you need isn't necessarily what you want. Saving the world is so much easier than keeping your life together in the aftermath. Katara, Zuko, and living in-betweens.


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**we're caught in between 'thank you' and 'goodbye'  
**_(in which neither of them are adulterous nor sexually charged)_

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Summer is ending and the things that she remembers are all the wrong ones; that spot along the curve of her hips where his hands used to rest, the exact shade of the lightning that pierces one's heart, and those two words, eight letters- _thank you._

This story is about first loves conquers all and it's certainly not about finding a new connection with the most unlikely person in the world so she kisses her supposed beloved, tries to forget and resolves to do better in the future.

Naturally, she finds it difficult.

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They're bad at this.

Citizens of Earth Kingdom aren't the only ones who put everything in line as long as there is at least _one _shining beacon of _hope_ (define irony)- Ozai is alive and Fire Nation never lasts long in peace without getting bored or angry or nauseous (maybe it's all three, she doesn't know)- it's in their blood.

He stands across her and the distance between them is precisely three hundred and seventy-two miles of his country's territory in paper (Sokka came in earlier) and the first thought that comes into her mind is, _why can't we just storm their command center and strike their base one by one?_

_Waste of manpower, _he answers, _we need all that we have._

_We just need the skilled ones. Maybe two._

The bases are scattered around the lands and structured like it is so that only master benders can take it out without utilizing too much manpower- sending the Avatar will be too risky, Toph is an irreplaceable asset for being the only metalbender available and apparently, her counterpart has learned to read the lines between.

_Should I contact my uncle? _Her head shakes, _I was thinking about some people who are closer._

Toph maybe the earthbender _and _the metalbender, but brute force is their thing too, sometimes. A little stealth and they're ready to go.

They're blowing up strongholds right and left and it occurs to her suddenly, in the middle of crossfire- that this is a _Fire Lord_ beside her and the first words she should've said upon meeting him are, _How is your fiancée, _or, _is your family safe?, _instead of thinking what is the fastest way to take out the rebellion.

She notes that he doesn't ask and neither of them talks about those things.

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Peace is back (no one knows for how long) and she finds herself at home.

She is one part of the perfect couple who has the perfect ending in the perfect story so her days are filled with penguin sledding and sweet awkward dates that ends in kisses and _I love yous _and she thinks that maybe she can get used to this for the rest of her life, loving and loved and loving and the cycle never ends.

It's easy to pretend that she's not the girl who sneaks out at night to bend icebergs as big as battleships and stop waterfalls and geysers because she needs to let _it_ out (she has yet to figure out what _it _is) and no one is willing to be a sparring partner.

Sometimes she roots for the rarely seen bitch inside to come out and play. Spice things up a little bit.

Unfortunately, she won't play unless the bastard she hates (loves) is here and the routine with the pure guardian angel is getting old.

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He's never one for commitment- it's not new for him, and she knows how bad he is when he's good so the fact that his fiancée finally had enough of him is not a big news for her.

_I can't say it, _he whispers, and she says, _Say what?_

Neither says anything because the answer is simple (obvious) and none of them is in any position to judge the other.

The night ends in an uneventful note- she's no rebound girl and his honor isn't famous for nothing.

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He is there when her story shatters.

There are the classic questions; _Was it Not Enough? Was it Too Much? _In the end they just fall together, because these things are not supposed to be like this, they are supposed to live up the expectations and they should've stayed on the pedestal each significant other placed them on.

Even if the pedestal is too high.

He comforts her- he's used to this; used to failing over and over and over again until nothing matters anymore and the important thing is just to get back up, fight, and survive- she holds him tight.

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They had their first taste of being third wheels at the same time.

She's with the Earth Kingdom boy who has a moustache and he's with the Fire Nation circus freak. This is one of their finer attempts in moving on; he had an episode with a girl who had an ostrich horse and a girl who likes to go to a teashop in Ba Sing Se- she wonders what is it with him and Earth Kingdom girls, and after a visit to a small grave in the same impenetrable city he decides not to ask her dating history.

Good friends do what good friends are good in doing; they go for a double date.

But being a good friend doesn't mean that you're a good girlfriend (boyfriend) by default; otherwise they wouldn't miss _that _glint in _both_ Haru's and Ty Lee's eyes.

If (the key word being _if, _here) they have at least _one _relationship bone in their bodies they wouldn't take their dates to a restaurant four of them loathe, snort and giggle about the other's dates appearance when no one's looking (he never likes moustaches and she thinks pink is atrocious) and spend the better half of the night reminiscing about old times with each other- the worse half being the awkward silences with their supposed dates.

You see, this is where supposedly their dates feel like third wheels instead of them.

But when you find your date locking lips with your friend's date, you start to recognize the bigger picture; the carefully hidden flirting, the well-placed public displays of affection, and you get the feeling that you have just been used to make a person jealous.

Oh, it's not a feeling. They did get used.

He walks her home; elbows linked, smiles wide- the perfect picture of the end of the date (besides the fact that their original dates dumped them somewhere along the way) and both laugh hard enough to disguise the pain.

After all, this is the first time someone dumped _them _for another- they're too used to being the first choice.

It hurts.

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She fights with him. Just, not in the way people expect them to fight.

For two people who have quite an extensive history of violence in the past with each other, they're _quiet._

They don't argue; he doesn't do the yelling thing and in return she doesn't do the nagging thing- they don't use sarcasm much (their wit doesn't really reach that level) and on the contrary to what everyone thinks, they don't _bend._

_Bend_ as in bending battles.

He talks with her only for discussing trades and laws, and she only answers to those; it's the unspoken rule they agree upon- no one talks unless the thing about _killing your own father _and _he is a tyrant who doesn't deserve to live _is settled.

No one really notices except Toph (who doesn't count because the girl knows everything), which is good, because imagine what the noblemen and generals will say if they know that one of the Fire Lord's staunchest supporter is in cahoots with him; and the same if they hear word about the Southern Waterbender's most valuable (both in morale and material sides) ally is not in good terms with her.

Politics.

So when her brother comes by and talks about _we should hang out together, why don't you two give me a tour of the new place, eh- Katara? Sparky? _And _why don't you just take Katara to the dance, buddy- you're both single- _she stops him by saying, _Sokka, we're not talking _and after a few lip movements that oddly look like a confused elephant koi, he decides to add, _We're in a fight. She's not talking to me, I'm not talking to her, and can you please not make things worse?_

They don't talk for a long time.

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They're still fighting when Mai and Aang ask for a second try.

Honestly, at that point they're just two pathetically lonely people. Being cooped up in a palace and a frozen city does that to people.

_That_ almost prompts them to go back to square one.

But the day ended and they're still single; being alone means you have more than enough time to _think _and whether you like it or not, there's this thing called _realization._

Their former significant others are better off without them anyway.

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A truce is called.

But not before she freezes him to a tree. He burns her hair for good measure in retaliation; old habits die hard.

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His uncle is dead.

The week that follows the tragedy is full of grief and sadness; an impressive funeral is held and she watches as he rises up in front of his people, and cries along when his voice talks about great fathers and old dragons and humorous proverbs that mostly are about tea.

He doesn't cry, though- he is strong; he is steady- what was anticipated as the time of weakness in the life of the youngest Fire Nation ruler turns out to be his golden age that will grace upon the Four Nation's history records.

No one knows about the day when she found him staring off into space on the bed of his uncle's former bedroom. From sunrise to sunset, he doesn't move (and neither does she) - she waits for a lone teardrop to fall from his good eye before crossing the room and grabs him tightly from behind; she doesn't want him to vanish away.

One of his hands covers hers and his face rests on her shoulder- her tunic is damp and she thinks for the first time that maybe together, they are good for something other than sneaking off in secret missions and fighting beside (and against) each other.

Their arms tangled and she holds him closer to herself, or maybe he holds her. The distinction is unimportant.

Neither let go until the next morning.

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Nothing really changes between them.

He is still the Fire Lord with the massive responsibility and she's still the Southern Master Waterbender who travels around the world but stays in the frozen tundra for the most part of her life.

They don't run off and away, _breaking free in the name of love_ or something cliché like that. Both grew up, with big-but-not-yet adult responsibilities- and running away is not really their style anyway.

Their friends place bets on how long they're going to hold it together before they elope.

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On some mornings she wakes up to the smell of jasmine and smoke.

She founds it strange and pleasantly blissful when she opens her eyes and knows exactly where she is, whose hand is resting on the curve of her hip. She doesn't have the moment of worry or regret or disappointment or anything really.

It's just one of those rare mornings when she wakes up first despite the _'I rise with the sun' _thing because the owner of the hand that rests on her hip spent his night working on a mountain load of paperwork.

She likes waking up first. It means she doesn't have to deal with the other person, doesn't have to think about the possibility of things going wrong (especially since this is the two of them, something _always _go wrong) and the unexpected happening.

The thing about the unexpected is they already expect it too much for it to become the expected.

She just really wants to sleep for another hour.

Half her wish is still on the table when sunlight creeps through the room's open windows and from the way he murmurs on her shoulder and pulls her closer (that cabbage conference can wait for another five minutes) she thinks that maybe for once these things work in their favor.

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They begin at a _'Thank you' _and still have a long way before a _'Goodbye' _so now, Katara and Zuko are learning to live _in betweens._

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**Once again, I don't own Avatar, Zuko, nor Katara. Reviews and constructive criticism will be very appreciated. Flames... won't. That's all.**


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